Sometimes i wish i had a magic ball.I want to know if my hair will grow again - a couple of inches will do, just so i no longer look like a giant moon face with patch of cotton wool on the top of my head. I want to know if there will be a cure allowing me to stay alive without having to inject myself for the rest of my life - it would be nice to see what it’s like to live “normally”. I want to know that everything will be ok when i graduate from university in a couple of months and that the big bad world that i dread isn’t really that big and bad. I want to know that my family and friends will all be happy and healthy.I want to know that everything no matter how big,bad and scary that i, and other people are feeling justnow will all work out fine in the end.
I also want to know when i’ll get my next cuddle.
No my boyfriend has not turned me into a gushy loved up pathetic excuse of a girl, this song was on repeat in work today and it’s stuck in my head.
So i’m finally 21, and now that the presents are over and the cake is done,the novelty has definatley worn off. Infact my house is still drowing in balloons which are doing nothing but succeeding to remind me how i should be acting like an “adult” and doing something with my life.
I have lots of friends.I have friends who have babies, friends that are engaged,friends that are married, and friends who have proper 9-5 jobs where they have to wear fancy suits to work. I even have friends that text me and ask me to ” go for coffee”. Since when did i become old enough to “go for coffee”. I dont like coffee, i want to drink capri-suns, fruit shoots, and the little plastic juice cups that you always seemed to get at parties and school discos,where you have to pierce the lid with the tinniest narrowest red straw ever with. I wonder if coffee is something that only mature people like? I dont want to “go out for dinner” either. My idea of dinner is a chicken nugget happy meal ( depending on wether or not there is a good toy in it).And maybe a strawberry sundae if i have been good.
I graduate uni in less than 6 months and i’m scared. I’m not ready for the real world. I wish i was 8 again. I liked being 8. I broke my arm when i was 8. It was the very first day of the school holidays and i was on my bike going down a HUGE hill(ok when i drove past it the other day it had shrunk for some reason) doing a “no-handy”. Im pretty sure i was also wearing adidas “poppers” tracksuit bottoms and kappa t-shirt. I want to be that carefree again. Where all i had to worry about was being home in time for dinner at half 6.
Anyway, blah blah blah. My friend Laila flew over from nyc to spend my birthday with me. After i said goodbye to her on Tuesday night a song came on the radio that i quite liked as i was driving home from the airport at 2am.Lyrics;
You think I’m pretty,Without any make-up on
You think I’m funny,When I tell the puch line wrong
I know you get me,So I’ll let my walls come down, down
Before you met me,I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy,You brought me to life
Now every February,You’ll be my valentine, valentine
Let’s go all the way tonight,No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die,You and I
We’ll be young forever
You make me,Feel like
I’m living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can’t sleep,Let’s runaway
And don’t ever look back
Don’t ever look back
My heart stops,When you look at me
Just one touch,Now baby I believe
This is real,So take a chance
And don’t ever look back
Don’t ever look back
We drove to Cali,And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and,Built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you,My missing puzzle piece
Yes there’s much more but i can’t be bothered. Turns out it was a Katy Perry song.It made me smile.
Anyway, time for bed. It’s 3.30am and i have uni tomorrow. I wish my daddy still told me bed time stories.
Not posted in a while, woulda been nice to have had some exciting reason why i haven’t, but instead ive been lying in bed watching repeats of My Name is Earl and Two and a Half Men, drowning in self pitty and over-dosing on strawberrys.
I really have nothing interesting to document, but feel like i am neglecting this if i post nothing. Not that many people actually read this, but i feel the need to justify!
I had my first ever casino experience on Saturday night. It really wasn’t as glamerous as what i imagined in my head. I think i expected the sort that you see on tv in vegas, with beautiful girls in bikinis and cocktails all around. Instead, it was middle aged men, with eyes that stuck to you like glue, and over priced smirnoff vodka. I did however win 20quid, so it wasn’t a total loss. I just don’t think i’ll be going back anytime soon, leave on a winning streak!
I’m also going to get a new phone tomorrow. Contemplating venturing into the big bad highly overpriced iphone world. We will wait and see
I love Livvy Rhodes.
So today I found out that i gained my degree. Zoey Rutherford BA Media and Communication.
In other news, i was going through old documents on my computer and came across interviews i did with The Paddingtons and Last Gang a wee while ago. I really should try and get some more work done, if i can be bothered to get my finger out my arse. Last Gang are fab, a tiny little band from Wakefield, West Yorkshire. Wakefield has alot of fabulous artists, check them out below
Last Gang - www.myspace.com/lastganguk
Matt Abbott - www.myspace.com/iammattabbott
The Cribs - www.myspace.com/thecribs
So it was Fathers day today, and eventually we settled on going to the cinema to see killers starring Ashton Kutcher. Could he be any better looking? I proper pigged out, i had a tub of ben and jerrys ice cream - 2 scoops, one being cookie dough and the other being chocolate brownie. YUM. Outside the cinema was a little arcade with lots and lots of ten pence machines. I never ever win anything, but today must of been my lucky day. i won £4.40 worth of 10p’s and now i have no bloody clue what to do with them…
My little sister Holly bought a paddling pool and it’s well mint. I know im nearly ‘21’ and therfore not supposed to find these things appealing in the slightest, but i can’t help myself. If it wasn’t for the fact our backgarden faces right onto a boy who i used to go to school with,i’d well be in it! With a nice can of strongbow.
And im listening to Kate Nash. Her new album is fab, clearly influenced by the spectacular Ryan James Jarman. Her music sounds even better when it’s nice and sunny outside. I have no idea why, it just does.
Glasgow.Today was one of the nicest days we have had this year. I was in town shopping for summer clothes and all the beer gardens were mobbed. I have never wanted a pint of cider and blackcurrent so much. What i love about Scotland, is that anytime we get a glimmer of sunshine all the boys whip their tops off. Although sadly it’s never the good looking ones. There are generally two types. Type one, is the 16 year old chav sort, who is skinny and pasty and they think that they look so unbelieavably attractive showing their milk bottle skin.Despite being topless, they feel the need to still carry around their Rangers/Celtic top as a sentiment of their support and general masculinity. Type two is the fat builder type. Usually a few tatoos, and jeans that are too small unveiling their big builder arse. They have no shame, and always whistle at you. Sorry, do you expect me to drop down on my knees? Why can’t it be the nice boys in skinny jeans with scuffy brown hair and ray bans?
I want to go back to benicassim. I went to the beni festival last year, and despite being hospitalised and missing all of the acts, i have never seen so many hotties in my life. Please send them to t in the park this year.
Page 1 of 2